It's been two years of pregnancy, disaster, heartbreak and joy. After two terminations for medical reasons, a long wait for whole exome sequencing, a rarer than rare genetic diagnosis and a 25 percent chance of another affected pregnancy - we have a healthy baby boy. Once a life on hold because of genetics, now I struggle with deep grief, PTSD, depression and what it means to be the mother of a miracle and the mother of lost boys all at the same time.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Did You Feel That? - Week 12
I was so tired when I got home last night, I could barely make dinner. I finally got the meal made and was almost too tired to even eat it.
I was dozing off in bed when I felt it — I swear to you I felt this baby squirming back and forth! I WOULD say that it was gas or something, but it was rhythmic - somewhat consistent - like a muscular fish flexing in there.
I really am pregnant, y’all!
I also had a surprise this morning while getting dressed. My shirts fit over my belly, but they do not accommodate my newly ample bosom. My babies always send me up a bra size, but I never get to keep that nice full B cup. Now the fat I collect on my rear is a different story...I’ll have to work my butt off — literally!
I’m getting more and more anxious for the results of the genetic testing. I was playing it so cool for a whole week and now I am starting to chew my fingernails over it. Let’s hope the results are in next week.
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