I wear my necklace with my children's names on it everywhere I go. I have a charm for each child and each charm has their name and their spirit animal on it. John's has a footprint.
Anyway, I don't think there is a day in Clark's life that he hasn't seen me with that necklace. I never take it off. The other night he was standing on my bed and put his little arms around my neck to hug me. Then he had this very serious look on his face and he was looking at my necklace. So I showed him "Emily" "John" "Drew" and "Clark" on each charm.
"Emmy!"
"Ohn!"
"Dew!"
"Aark!"
And then he said it all again, going through all the charms.
I can't describe the feeling of hearing my miracle baby say the names of his brothers out loud. It was as if I had never heard their names before. Like a song sung in a different tune.
I swear, I swear, I swear, I will never let the world forget about my boys. Hearing Clark say their names makes me even more resolved to their memory.
Oh, my heart.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Headstone drama
It's a headstone. Exactly like the other headstone. Why is this so difficult?
We ordered Drew's headstone recently. It is exactly the same as John's. Exactly. Same size, same color. They are buried in the same vault on the same plot in the same cemetery. John's stone is raised instead of sunk into the ground.
The stone was supposed to be here last week, but the monument company called to say 7-10 MORE business days. Then this week, I go out to the cemetery and they dug the spot for Drew's stone.
Two problems with that: They dug the footer BEHIND John's stone instead of beside it.
AND THEY DUG IT, like to sink it down. Not like John's stone.
I am irrationally beyond upset about this. The stone is important. It is forever. It must be right. Now there is some bullshit about how they don't think they can put Drew's stone next to John's stone. I don't want it in the plot next to John's, I just want it physically next to John's stone!
I'm so frustrated. And sad. And mad. I should not have to deal with this because I should not have dead babies. I should not have to deal with this because this is not rocket science. Because I have been clear on my wishes about this. And because it is important.
Ugh!
We ordered Drew's headstone recently. It is exactly the same as John's. Exactly. Same size, same color. They are buried in the same vault on the same plot in the same cemetery. John's stone is raised instead of sunk into the ground.
The stone was supposed to be here last week, but the monument company called to say 7-10 MORE business days. Then this week, I go out to the cemetery and they dug the spot for Drew's stone.
Two problems with that: They dug the footer BEHIND John's stone instead of beside it.
AND THEY DUG IT, like to sink it down. Not like John's stone.
I am irrationally beyond upset about this. The stone is important. It is forever. It must be right. Now there is some bullshit about how they don't think they can put Drew's stone next to John's stone. I don't want it in the plot next to John's, I just want it physically next to John's stone!
I'm so frustrated. And sad. And mad. I should not have to deal with this because I should not have dead babies. I should not have to deal with this because this is not rocket science. Because I have been clear on my wishes about this. And because it is important.
Ugh!
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