Thriving In Holland

Today I met little Stewart. Born at 33 weeks gestation, he has ambiguous genitalia, lung disease that mimics - but is not - cystic fibrosis, and a host of other medical issues. He is constantly tethered to his oxygen tank - and that isn't easy for a two year old boy. He eats through a G-tube. He spends weeks at a time in Intensive Care.

I'm going to write a story about Stewart for the local paper, and I interviewed his dad today at the diner down the street from my house. Stewart's father, John, and I talked about care and health insurance and out of pocket expenses and, of course, genetics.

It's hard for me to look at tiny little Stewart, who is so much smaller than my Clark and didn't talk at all, and not see my Drew looking back at me. As I spoke to John, my eyes kept going back to Stewart, who just wanted to walk around without his oxygen tank attached to him. With all his medical issues and delays, with all that he will face in his very uncertain future, Stewart is far healthier than my two sons would ever hope to be.

"You are so lucky," I told John. "You are just so lucky to have him."

And, of course, I told him about John and Drew. And I explained about Holland.

"You dream of Paris. You save and you plan and you wait for Paris. All you have ever wanted is to live in Paris. But there is a mistake and for some reason your plane lands in Holland, and you are stuck. And you hate it because it isn't Paris. It isn't your dream, and you planned for your dream. And after a little while, you look around and you find a few things you like about Holland. There are some blessings in Holland. There are some things you come to love about Holland. And before you know it, you are thriving in Holland. And it isn't Paris. It will never be Paris. You will always wish for Paris. But this is Holland, and you live here, and you are more than just stuck. You are thriving, doing the best you can. And you make a life, here, in Holland."

His mouth hanging open, John looked at me for a second.

"Thank you," he said. "Because that is amazing."

I can't say what it's like in Paris, but I really, really like the people I let into my own personal Holland.