Dropping some knowledge

"From the outside looking in, it's hard to understand. From the inside looking out, it's hard to explain."


Well, isn't that the truth.

I wrote this post twice already, but I just can't quite hit "publish." It was a rant, a vent, and it was potentially hurtful to people who hurt me, but who I still care about an awful lot.

A few months ago I got stuck in a really, really bad place. Coming out of it now, I realize that people have more power over my grief and my life and my PTSD than I ever imagined. That gives them a responsibility to *try* not to harm me emotionally, to *try* not to damage me irreparably with their words and their well-meaning but misguided ways.

But it also gives me the responsibility to drop some knowledge. To share my experiences in a way that will help another person or prevent some of that damage.

My purpose in this now much abbreviated and much more mature and rational blog post is to share a much more concise, much better written blog post than I have the mental organization to write.

http://stillstandingmag.com/2014/06/grief-attacked/

If you're a Baby Loss Mama, share it. I hope that the people around you respect you enough to take the advice to heart.

If you're the friend or family member of a Baby Loss Mama, read it. Take it to heart. Try to understand, know that you can't understand, and then err on the side of supportive. Understand that attacking her grief will cause damage - directly to the person who is grieving and to your relationship with that person. Know that a lot of that damage will not be fixable.

Just trust me on this one, OK?