Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Truth Hurts – 23 weeks




My husband and I have become a little bit obsessed with viability.
Now that we have hit the 23 week mark, my hubby, the king of charts and graphs and metrics, pulled out a viability calendar to scrutinize.
At 23 weeks, Clark has a 10 to 30 percent chance or survival if he were born today. The positive percentages go up exponentially with each week after this one. In a week or two he will have a 50/50 chance of survival.
The thought hit me and the words were out of my mouth before I could swallow them: “That gives him 10 to 30 percent more of a chance of survival at 23 weeks than his brothers had at full term.”
I’m right. The fact that this fact is true is an aching scar on my heart. I think I have only recently come around to the realization that my boys had no chance at life. Of course I knew this when we terminated, especially with Drew. But there is knowing something and then knowing something in your whole self. I had convinced myself that my boys had no chance and now I know that to be fact.
It makes me glad for Clark, that he has a chance, no matter how small, of survival. But it makes me want to cry and scream at the unfairness of it for John and Drew. How do you come to terms with your babies having never been given even the slimmest chance?

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